5.31.2012

21.47



... I finally feel like I am getting back to a familiar rhythm and that is a comfort. 
In all the commotion, I somehow skipped a month in this series... so if you see an out-of-number 
post for the series that is why :) 


Boys,
If I only wrote to you about the good things, I don't know if I would feel I was being very honest with you.
I wish I could tell you two that life is easy...that everyone loves as openly and purely as
you do now, and that there are so very few problems and hiccups from day to day.... 
I have hopes that your lives will be blessed and that you will be kept from so much
of these troubles though, and that when they do come that you will walk with God and 
allow him to guide you. You kiddos are learning so much so quickly...and sometimes I find
myself saying...how do I teach them?.... I am so unprepared.... it is a funny thing, but so many
times in trying to teach you the best ways I know how... you teach me instead. I woke up
today to the realization that I am planning a birthday party for you Luca... your 4th birthday party!
My heart can't believe that this little baby I was so nervous to hold...this fragile little baby boy... 
is turning 4 in just days... and starting school in just a couple of months.
Or you, Canaan.... seeing you for the first time and wondering why I felt that exact same
nervousness I felt with your big brother.... many mothers would probably say they were
first time moms every single time... that's how I felt... like a first time mom all over again... and
that is good...because you are a first-time baby too... there are no repeats...no duplications of you.
You both are unique and special.
I am sad to think you two wonderful little boys will have to confront some of the same troubles
we all face. I wish I could just shelter you from it all... but I know there is no wisdom where there is no
learning...and no learning without lessons... my heart hurts to think of stepping back and letting
you learn these lessons... understanding when I have to step aside when I want to 
take control. These are the things that mothers cannot really prepare for. The things that hurt
the most. I have to hold on to the words of God in Jeremiah that promises..." For I know the plans
that I have for you," declares the Lord ... and trust Him that he does know these plans 
for you just as much as He does for me. 
Enjoy the good in this life... enjoy it fully... 
Take joy and happiness over sorrow and pain 
and if there is no choice... and if you have to struggle for a while
take comfort and know you do not ever walk alone.

XOXO mama

***
 Happy last day of  May friends! I am a busy bee over here trying to prepare for a birthday party, finishing up some of my latest photo-shoots and  taking on new work as well! Stop by tomorrow for another sponsor spotlight...I will be featuring Lesley from The Floyd Boys blog!!!
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Happy Thursday Friends!


1 comment:

ms.composure said...

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