(image by elena mccoy)
I've been going through a lot of old pictures the past couple of days. Many include those of family members, childhood pictures and a lot of my own personal photographs. This, one I took with "Penny" my favorite 35 mm camera...and it really just stopped me for a second. We took this at an old train depot. and it is really symbolic to how I am feeling these days; a haze, like I am in transition. Not really willing to give up where and what things were like (with my grandmother here) and not really wanting to step toward this different chapter, filled with one less person I love...a little more empty.
Kind of a scary word, but can also be exciting....life altering....different.
It is defined as: A passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.
Yes, this is exactly what it is.
...and here, in this passage, I have to figure out where everything fits into place; where I am in it all.
This image, is like a mirror reflection of what I feel when I think of where I am. How things are rushing by in a whirlwind, and yet I'm kind of left, in the middle. Still. quiet. thinking.
I love how photographs can do that....reflect.
I know I am not my chipper self, and I apologize...I won't continue to be so emotional, but know that writing here helps me to define what is going on and how I feel. I have been through ages, in one lone week. I have wept more than I thought I ever could, and it helps, but I still struggle. One day at time....it will get better.